Tiara

Even though it is hard to believe, long before any of us children were even a glimmer in my Mom’s eye she had a life of her own: the life of a beauty queen. I often asked Mom to recount her pageant days, to describe the car that she sat perched on the back of during the parade or the official store openings that she attended as Miss Halifax. I often bragged to my friends that my Mom was the most beautiful girl in Halifax – hands down – and that was why she had won. The times where I was allowed to play with her sash and tiara are some of my most vivid memories; I remember walking around the house in my pajamas, sparklingly crowned.

As a young girl, her life before kids seemed so glamorous and I wondered how she could have possibly given it all up for us. She told me one time that all the glamour in the world couldn’t replace the joy of having children. And that having a child is like watching part of your heart walking around outside your body. I think that the part of my Mom that started me died with her, and in its place it has left a hole that will never heal and a pain that will never go away.

That is something that I will miss so much about Mom – her unconditional love of her children. We didn’t have a lot growing up, but Mom always made sure that it was more then enough.